


She knows that now

by superbella99



Series: Life with the boys [1]
Category: Supernatural
Genre: Angst, Angst and Hurt/Comfort, Breakup, F/M, Feelings, Heartbreak, Love, Reader-Insert, Sadness, Soulless Sam Winchester, getting over heartbreak
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-01-17
Updated: 2018-01-17
Packaged: 2019-03-06 03:17:39
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 564
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13402311
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/superbella99/pseuds/superbella99
Summary: Sam has come back without a soul. He ends up leaving you heartbroken. How will you move on?short and angsty.formerly a chapter in another fic I published in another fandom





	She knows that now

She loves him.  
She knows that now. It only took him leaving for her to realize that she loves him. Maybe more than she ever had, before the long hunt and the disastrous last month. She had finally accepted her feelings and they were in no way reciprocated.  
She loves his long brown hair and hazel eyes. The thought of all the things they could have done together. He would kiss her, softly and full of meaning. Him holding her hand and stroking her thigh under the table, their own little secret. When they are in their own little world where nothing except him matters. How he said her name, with purpose and passion. But none of it happened. All dreams left untrue.  
But she also thinks of regret. The sour taste in her mouth when she remembers their last hunt together, his words hitting her with vengeance, full of spite. The metallic taste of blood from biting her tongue to keep from crying, and the soft sound of Cas’s words after the earth-shattering realization that her fantasies were now far out of reach. She also remembers the chill she felt standing as the water flung itself down on her, soaking her to the bone.  
Her heart had shattered to pieces and she had desperately tried to fit them back together. The pain was ten times worse than the worst injury she had gotten on a hunt. This couldn't be fixed with a few stitches and a bottle of jack.  
Getting you heartbroken is like a train hitting you in the back, bursting its tracks with the specific intent of paralyzing you. The sound of metal scraping and the scream of warning, but not fast enough.  
Dean had been that scream, the warning. His personality changed whenever his brothers did. He was so close to the impact and had suffered a loss. He became distant in the late of May. He had only ever talked to her in a when they were all together, never alone, never any company, never a warning. Not until too late and he was already broken himself.  
Maybe she should have realized her future, it was so obvious now, she would be alone forever. Never the apple pie life he had promised all those years ago. The one left behind. The hunter who had been kicked around, never having a home. The one no one would love. One thought stuck in her brain. The thought of never becoming anything other than that one helpless girl who tried to save the world but came up too short.  
The reckoning that came after was enough to overpower a nuclear bomb. She had locked herself away for a week. The sobs were heart-wrenching and filled with grief. The things she screamed were never meant but always heard. She became ruthless and unforgiving. She questioned everyone’s motives and never let her guard down. She became ruthless on hunts.  
And it was hard.  
So damn hard.  
She was haunted by the ringing of his words. She never slept, never ate unless forced. She became nothing but a piece of paper someone had crumpled up and thrown away.  
But the first day of July she walked back into the world bravely. A smile on her face and a spring in her step. She was a new person. And the world has never been the same.

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading. I hope you liked it. I might turn this into a bunch of short fics and one-shots, what do you think?


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